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AT HOME ABROAD: 1607: just wunnerful! —Angela Williams

“How are your loved ones?” Prince Philip wanted to know. “When will they be home?” Fairly sensitive, intelligent questions from such an oaf. He usually puts his foot in it shockingly

One aspect of the United States that makes it a truly great nation is surely its inexhaustible capacity to find itself wunnerful, eye-wateringly homely and just plain Good, and all this in the teeth of massive and incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

I’m prompted to write this owing to the current trip to the USA of Her Gracious Mejesty, Queen Elizabeth II with the ever faithful Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh by her side; their first visit in sixteen years, gushes the BBC. Oh my goodness. How exhilarating. I can barely contain my patriotism.

It is exactly four hundred years since a disgraceful and motley Virginia Company bunch landed on the ‘new’ continent of America, and it is to celebrate the founding of Jamestown by the first English settlers that Queen Elizabeth has braved the perils of an Atlantic crossing in a private jet (for the first time in sixteen years.)

Jamestown was named in honour of the then king, James I of England, and Virginia had been named after his predecessor, the virgin queen, Elizabeth I, who shrewdly remained unmarried throughout her very long life. (Her descendant, Elizabeth II, might have done us all a favour had she striven to emulate the first one in this respect. But no such luck.)

In 1607, one hundred and forty-four people set out from England to found a colony in the New World, but only one hundred and five of them survived the four-month voyage across the Atlantic. The gentleman entrepreneurs on board had no intention of doing anything tiring once they arrived on shore; they would rather “wait and play” according to Captain John Smith (of the Pocahontas fame) who was charged with the unenviable task of keeping order in the nascent colony. The English workingmen who had survived the journey were “the scum of the land” according to Smith, while his fellow officer, George Sandys, called them “a damned crew vomited by hell”.

Now this is a very interesting description of the first Americans, coming as it did from the first American poet, for as such is Sandys mainly remembered. Son of the Archbishop of York, he was called by John Dryden “the best versifier of the former age”, renowned for his erudition and familiarity with classical sources. So the man considered one of the most sophisticated writers of the English language at the time called the first Americans, what was it again? “A damned crew vomited by hell.”

Many of the early settlers have plaques erected in their memory; one of them reads as follows: “To the Glory of God and to the Honoured Memory of William Claiborne. Settled in Virginia 1621. Deputy Governor 1653. Commanded Expeditions Against the Indians 1629-1644.” Ah, bless him. One of the founding fathers of attempted genocide.

The Virginia State Bar presented a stone plaque to Jamestown in May 1959. Its wording is as follows: “The Common Law: The Common Law of England was established on this continent with the arrival of the First Settlers of May 13, 1607. The first charter granted by James I to the Virginia Company in 1606 declared that the inhabitants of the colony “..shall have and enjoy the liberties, franchises and immunities...as if they had been abiding and borne within this our realme of England...” Since Magna Carta, (1215) the Common Law has been the cornerstone of individual liberties. Summarised later in the Bill of Rights, its principles have inspired the development of our system of freedom under law, which is at once our dearest possession and proudest achievement.”

Kinda brings a lump to your throat, don’t it! Would one ever imagine that the nation that gets all dewy-eyed over such sentiments can vote in for a further term the administration responsible for Abu Gharaib in Iraq and for Guantanamo Bay, illegally occupied Cuban territory which allows the United States government to spit on individual human rights and liberty. America’s “dearest possession and proudest achievement” is a sham, and anyone who can read and write and/or look at photographs can appreciate how filthy a sham it is.

But, nothing daunted, Her Gracious Mejesty graciously accepted the kind, one might even say obsequious, welcome extended her by Vice President Dick Cheney last week, as she made her colourfully be-hatted way around Jamestown. She hailed the deep bonds of friendship between Britain and the United States: “Friendship is a complex concept...” she opined, according to the speech written for her. “Not really. You just do whatever we tell you. Nothing complex about that,” thought one or two smiling American officials, I’ll be bound. And while she ate lunch in Williamsburg with other similarly daft, be-hatted American ladies, her husband was in Norfolk (not the real Norfolk; the New England, American one,) meeting the families of servicemen and women deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan, selflessly helping to bring peace, justice and The American Way to those poor, benighted, dark-haired people.

“How are your loved ones?” Prince Philip wanted to know. “When will they be home?” Fairly sensitive, intelligent questions from such an oaf. He usually puts his foot in it shockingly; for example, by asking Britons in Hong Kong whether their eyes weren’t going to become slanted if they stayed in Hong Kong too long. Believe it. He did.

Anyway, the wacky royals left for Louisville Kentucky to last Saturday’s Kentucky Derby where the Queen was afforded yet another opportunity to display her hatter’s tasteful creativity. And this week, it’s Washington, where Laura will no doubt be urging George not to curtsey and to holster that pistol when there’s royalty around.

And speaking of ‘royal’: a final ‘Bonne chance, Ségolène!’ (Although it seems she ain’t going to get in.) And Many Happy Returns of yesterday to my wonderful 92-year-old mum!

The writer is the Academic Co-ordinator and a founder of Bloomfield Hall Schools. She has been teaching in Lahore for the past 20 years and has directed numerous highly acclaimed stage plays

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